Camping in the oven

This week our daughter Yen was suffering from some bad luck. She was invited by her fried to her house to play, then extended the stay b/c her friend wanted Yen to join her brother's birthday party. However, for some reason, when I went to pick Yen up, her friend's parents hadn't start the party yet. All the kids asked me "Can Yen stay?" But her parents said no. It wasn't really a problem for me but I didn't want to impose, so I brought her home. She was nearly in tears when she walked out of her friend's house.

I felt bad for her, so the next day I planned a fishing trip w/ her. Her older brother gave her a fishing pole and she really wanted to try it out. I knew nothing about fishing, but I thought the point was to let her try and made her happy. Well, the whole story was posted on the last blog; we didn't get any luck. But it was a good try in my opinion.

On Wednesday, she kept on asking me about camping. We've kind of planned a camping trip in the beginning of this week cause our oldest son Mike was away for summer camp in Colorado, and we thought we could have some fun ourselves too. But the weather was unstable so we kept on postponing. Yen was keeping on pushing me to have this trip, and finally I decided that Friday was the day for me to keep my promise.

My wife wasn't very fond of the idea. She doesn't like sweating, and she hates the idea of sleeping in a tiny tent in the middle of nowhere w/out all the comforts and safety at home. But I said it was a promise for kids and we had to fulfill it. Plus it could be a family time, and if that really worked then in the future we could save hotel money in our family trip.

So we made all the preparation. Boy, I didn't know we had to bring so many things for a camping trip!! Our tiny car was totally full, and we had to put the tents we rented ($20 for two 4-person tents) on Yen's lap. But at 4:30pm we were off! It should be a fun time, we believed.

We went to a place I and my two boys went this spring. We had a very good time: the food was great, we built a fire in a cold night, and we talked under the stars. That really was a great time. So I thought we could duplicate that experience.

Boy, I couldn't be more wrong.

Now we all can easily see why this trip was doomed to failure, but I was so caught up in the beautiful experience I had that I didn't see many obvious problems. We realized our mistakes very soon though: after 10 minutes we got there, I wanted to escape and go home as fast as I could, like running away from hell.

All the problems could be summed up into a four-letter word: HEAT.

IT WAS HOT!!!! And stupid as I was, I told my kids not to bring more than one bottle of water cause I remembered I didn't finish half of bottle on the last trip. I didn't use my head and think that my last trip was at the end of the winter. Now we were stuck in this OVEN and we couldn't drink water as much as we needed. My wife's face very soon turned bluish, then red, then finally purple. She now walked like a zombie and looked like would drop in any minute. Ben and Yen's faces were red and their eyes were crossed.

I started cooking the food. Meanwhile tons of bugs were outrageously happy b/c four humans were stupid enough to come to their territory at this time of the day to be their dinner and entertainment. The bug's spray on us seemed to attract MORE bugs to investigate us. Maybe it was labeled "bug's spray: attract all the bugs you want." I must check the damn spray again.

"I'm tired and hungry," Ben whined. "Just a minute, I'm cooking." I said. Yen hid in the tent and read the book she brought. My wife couldn't talk.

Finally, we started to eat something: corns, fish, potatoes, and carrots. It was the only cool thing in this trip: the food was not bad.

But after that, we just sit there and didn't know what to do. It was too hot to do anything. Yen planned to fish but we had to walk a distance to reach the creek. And surely nobody wanted to "play;" anything that required to move a muscle was too much to ask. We brought marshmallows, chocolate, and gram crackers, but the marshmallows were sticky and chocolate was in liquid.

It was only 2 hours into our trip, and everybody was cooked.

I tried to escape by retrieving into the tent, like Yen did. But 2 minutes in there I sweat even more. The only good thing was no bugs. "Gosh! How could you stay in there!?" I ran out of the tent. But my wife, who was sampled by mosquitoes, finally hid in the tent w/ Yen. Ben later got into another tent and tried to read. I admired that.

"Let's go home." I finally said.

"No!" Yen protested.

"Why not?"

"I want to sleep here; I want to see the stars."

Stars? I saw them in front of my eyes now. You didn't see them? And sleep here? Are you kidding?

After long suffering, finally at around 8pm, 3 1/2 hours into the trip, Yen gave in, and we packed home.

The moment we got into our cooler home, I recalled the Disney cartoon when Goofy brought his son to carnival and they had a roller-coaster ride together. After the ride, Goofy crawled out of the car and kissed the ground.

I felt like kissing my home too.

Fishing with my daughter

Yesterday I didn't feel well: stomachache (no idea why) and headache. Sleepy all day. Today I feel better.

It was raining quite hard yesterday. Quite chill; I liked that. Today is hot: 91 degrees and probably is rising.

Yesterday my daughter wanted to go camping. I reserved two tents from school, but later postponed to Friday b/c of the rain. She was upset: "I want to use Mike's fishing pole!" So I said: "That's easy, why don't we get the things we need today and go fishing tomorrow?"

I know nothing about fishing, so it took me a while to figure out that the pole her brother gave her was actually broken. Luckily she has another brother who doesn't like outdoor activities. He let her borrowed his pole.

She wanted to go asap, right after the lunch. She had an appointment w/ her friend at 3, so that left us around one hour to actually fish. What made it worse was when we got there, we found out neither of us brought the fishing kit. So we went back and took it. It ended up we only fished less than 40 minutes.

I guess it was ok, cause we didn't get anything. The time probably was not right, the bait probably wasn't right either, and the place probably didn't have many fishes.

But hey, we spent some father-daughter time together, right?

Day 1: Here and now

I'm thinking about spending about half an hour writing something everyday.

I've lived several decades, but till now I'm still wondering "where have all the years gone to?" In my mind I still think I'm only 25 and am just about to start to enjoy my life...but my body and my soul are all getting old. I wonder why.

It's because I'm always worrying about tomorrow and regretting about yesterday. I rarely live right at this moment.

So now, I'll write something everyday so I know what I've experienced today; to show myself that I've lived this day. I hope it'll help me to focus more on "here and now."

==

It's past 10pm now.

Today was a bit boring. And I've been bothered by my physical problem. I felt tired. But I did some meta by scanning through abstracts, and I read the textbook for personality class. Gosh, that is a boring book to read!

In the evening we went to Valentino. That was really a bad decision. We should have gone to Chipotle. At least Sirloin Stockade.

Mike isn't home; he is in Colorado for summer camp and won't come back till this Sat. During the time he's not home, we have much less quarrels; our mind is much more peaceful. And for some reason Ben and Yen seem to be nicer. I think taking away Mike for a week is good for these two kids.

Ben made a lot of clay figures and made a movie under my wife's directions. He enjoyed it a lot, and I'm very happy for him. Without Mike taking away attention, I think we are more likely to find Ben's talents.

I'm aware that I'm too critical. What I have to learn probably is to take it easy; maybe sometimes just let it go. Instead of seeing their messy room, at least I can try to see their smiles first.

Day 101: Start your next novel.

Yes, it says "Start your next novel."

I'm glad I've come through the whole thing.

Throughout these 100 days, I have a glimpse of the, say, "formula," if you will, of writing novels. There are many "formulas," and all have their strengths and weaknesses. But everyone emphasizes one thing: be persistent. Write everyday.

At this stage of my life, it probably is difficult for me to write 4-5 pages every day. But I can try to write everyday; I can try to spend 30 minutes every day on the writing.

I hope this stage will change soon: hopefully by next May things will change, at least a bit. I hope the future will be brighter. No matter what, I should not stop writing.

Keep dreaming, I guess.

Day 99 & 100

Yesterday was too busy on my dissertation...

Day 99: "Remind yourself that you still have to wait for two months minus a day. Do not call the agent. If two full months pass and you hear nothing, then you can write a brief note of inquiry."

Sure.

Day 100: "Remind yourself that everyone — everyone! — gets rejected. The stories are endless. Margaret Mitchell (Gone With the Wind), Daphne du Maurier (Rebecca), Joseph Heller (Catch-22), Stephen King (his first four novels), and on and on."

Ok... I'll keep that in mind. Don't lose the courage and hope.

Done.

===

These 100 days I believe I've learned something. Though my story is not finished yet, I'll definitely go through the process again to finish that.

Day 98: Buy yourself a drink.

"Amuse yourself by thinking about who who should star in the blockbuster movie."

I know one should reward her- or himself, but amusing oneself w/ that kind of wild dreams I'm not so sure. Wouldn't that make the rejections even harder to bear?

Well, but on the other hand, if you can handle it, then why not have some fun?

2 days.

Day 97: Entrust your manuscript to FedEx.

"Keep your receipt. Note the date on your calendar. Don't expect to hear anything for two months."

Yup. I'm used to this kind of waiting. Submitting to journal has to wait even longer, like 4-6 months.

3 days... my.

Day 96: Get a FedEx

"Get a FedEx mailer of the right size and put your jiffy bag in it. Don’t cut corners here. Look professional."

Not cutting corners. That's what I always do.

Man, it costs money to do things you want!

4 days.

Day 95: Write a very brief letter to the agent.

"Include the one-paragraph description of your novel that you wrote earlier. And include one brief paragraph about yourself. Do sound professional. Do not say, “I always wanted to be a writer . . .” or “I can write better than the junk I see . . .”
If you are sending your manuscript to more than one agent at the same time, you MUST tell them that this is “a multiple submission.” Either an agent will read it quicker or not at all; either way, you'll get an answer sooner.
In the jiffy bag, put A) the fifty pages or so of your novel, B) your letter to the agent, and C) a #10 SASE for the agent's reply. (You will not get the fifty pages back.)"

How do I sound more professional? I'll have to work on it and have someone proofread for me.

Sending manuscript to more than one agent probably is not a very good idea. I did it once, and when I was accepted by one, two others contacted me too. It was not a good experience. I had to apologize to the other two and tried to promise another book. That was not fiction writing though.

5 more days.

Day 94: Buy a sturdy, padded jiffy bag

"Look in an office supply store, Kinko's, etc."

It's for some pages of the story. Guess it's important to archive it.

6 days...wow.