Day 54: Good description observes all the senses

"Go to the library and browse through books on food and gardening. Authors of these books describe smells, tastes, touches, and even sounds in precise detail. When writing, always mention scents and tactile sensations. Good description observes all the senses."

I read the magazine: Cooking Light. This is one of the paragraph I read:

Remember how great a snow cone tasted when you were a kid--how the frozen sweetness cooled you down and perked you up on a hot summer day? Those bubblegum and blue raspberry, sugarcoated ice flakes are still fine for kids. And with flavors fit for an adult, frozen ice is a great summer dessert.

Then it continues:

"Water ices," or granitas in Italian, are flavorful, coarsely textured ice crystals. Stirred while freezing, the "ice"--often little more than fruit juice and sugar--develops into a refreshing, flaky slush. Ices are pretty to look at and a delight to eat, especially after dinner on a warm evening.

Well, in my opinion it describes a bit of "scents and tactile sensations," but mostly it's talking about how to do it. I'll probably read much more. So far what I've read is pretty much the same. The gardening books are about the same; I have no luck on finding the rich descriptions of scents and/or colors. Anyway, will keep looking.

Here is my try:

You have been working outside, or maybe playing basketball, in a hot summer day. You're thirsty and your sweat like rain. Then you see the tall glass of golden sweetness; the ice crystals clinking like wind chimes in a gentle breeze. You take a big slurp, then another, and another. The coldness flows down into your every bone and every pore until your hot body is totally chilled. Each cell in your body is alive again.

Some more revisions:

http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1655035-An-endless-failing-pursuit-temp-title1

Don't forget my other short story:
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1567145-Prince-Vingo-Imperfect-love

46 days.